Stimaddict! Where the fuck have you been?

[Stimaddict]

Hello folks, Stimaddict here!

Some of you may remember me. I used to be a regular contributor to this forum, until I suddenly dropped off the radar at the beginning of the year. Si, of E-Stim Systems, very kindly contacted me recently to see if I was still alive. So for anyone interested I thought I'd take this opportunity to explain my disappearance.

Towards the end of January, I succumbed to a nasty bout of Sepsis and was admitted to hospital in a very poorly state. Pretty soon I was locked in mortal combat with the Grim Reaper, who was in a piss poor mood and taking no prisoners. But I've fought this guy before and so long as you stand your ground and look him in the eye, he's a pushover.

For some time I was completely out of it, just surviving in a deluded, horrific version of reality. That girl out of The Ring, you know, the one with no face? Yeah, she was a regular visitor to my room.



Inanimate objects would suddenly spring to life to commit the most sick, depraved acts. And there were little people living under my bed, some of whom I could feel moving under the sheets at night. The medical staff were all shape shifting aliens experimenting on my body with intent to do me harm. Hence I would violently refuse life saving medication and injections until I was forcibly held down.

After I managed to jump start the logic centres in my exhausted brain I knew all this shit wasn't real, but I had no choice other than to run with it until I could find a way out of the maze. Strange how the mind works. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, the cold light of sanity dawned and I knew I was gonna be ok. Thus began a new fight -- to get back home. Because once the NHS has got hold of you, it doesn't want to let you go. Ever. No wonder they've always got a shortage of hospital beds.

I couldn't simply discharge myself because I needed further help and a care package. But trying to align five different departments of the system is nigh on impossible, I can tell you, and hospitals are not the safest places to be when you are recovering because patient outcomes are secondary to covering their own asses. In the end I was forced to go on hunger strike to get the bleeders to sit up and take notice. Suddenly I was given 15 minutes notice that an ambulance was on its way to take me home and I've never been happier.

That's really just about it. I'm probably 90% recovered now but the experience has changed my outlook on life a little. I've been spending time pursuing hobbies, listening to good music, stopping to smell the roses, just enjoying the finer things in life we all take for granted. What I have done is drastically reduced my online time and taken a digital detox. Man, that feels good and frees the mind.

So although I'm still alive and kicking I don't spend much time online these days, which is why I have not been posting anywhere. I'm going to get back into it in due course, but in the meantime I'll try to answer any PMs and requests for my link to the Stimfile Archive. Sincere apologies to anyone who's been waiting for that - check your inbox.

Happy Stimming everyone!
--
Stimaddict

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[spini]

Wow, what a remarkable story SA!! Worthy of a Black Mirror ep.

Glad you survived both the sepsis and the attempt at permanent hospitalisation.

Lots of rose-smelling definitely sounds a wise move.

cheers

spini

[geneb]

Wow!
What a story! So glad you are doing better and praying for you to make a full recovery!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[redfish]

hello;
nice to see you again and to have some news from you. enjoy life, that's the most important thing

[Zakal]

Holy fuck! That is an amazing ordeal!
Welcome back.

Incidentally, I also had a near-death experience, but I didn't know about it for a couple of weeks.
I was taken ill and had to have emergency surgery. When I called my doctor to explain why I missed an appointment, the first thing he said was "Congratulations."
I asked, "Congratulations? For what?"
His response was; "For making it to the hospital in time."

[Barcoded]

Bu**er, that answered my question. A bigger thank you.

Good to see you

[Stimaddict]

Hey, thank you for such warm, supportive responses. Much appreciated. And I'll add my congratulations to Zakai for choosing life, for that is most surely what you did.

Yes, my near-death experience and long trawl through the valley of insanity were the easy parts because I retained an element of input and control over that, even during unconsciousness. But fighting against the combined, box-ticking forces of NHS bureaucratic wankers was an impossible task. I've never felt so powerless.

I'm not blaming the dedicated doctors and nurses working on the front line. In the main they are equally frustrated at having to prop up a failing regime. Power within the NHS was once shared between the doctors and the strict, watchful eye of ward matrons. Today that power has been usurped by an army of pen-pushing twats who have never learned, or have forgotten, which end to hold a syringe.



Every NHS department, and there are fucking shedloads of them, have circled the waggons to defend themselves against having to accept any responsibility whatsoever, for anything. In this scenario, the very idea of practicality or common sense goes out of the window. Getting just one of these departments to turn on a green light is a challenge. 5 green lights at the same time? Not a chance. If I had died under their collective captivity, without it reflecting badly on any one of them, they would have considered that a result.

They all constantly keep moving the goalposts, and as the weeks turn into months deep depression begins to set in. Hope gives way to despair as the occasional chink of light at the end of the tunnel is rapidly extinguished. That's why, though I says it myself, going on hunger strike was an absolute stroke of genius, because it forced them to confront the thing to which they are obsessively averse - risk. Put simply, they shat themselves. After just 4 days, they couldn't get me out of there fast enough.

And forgoing hospital food for four days was no great sacrifice, let me assure you. Not once did I miss the fried noisette potato balls, or the diced halal chicken pellets that contaminated every meal.



Upon springing my release home, the first thing I demanded was a huge, fuck-off burger and chips, washed down with a cool pint of English scrumpy cider. Mmmmm... heaven.

Well, that was quite a rant wasn't it? In my next post in this thread, I would like to discuss what I feel I have gained from the overall experience. It will lead on to an estim related topic, I promise. Thanks for reading so far.
--
Stimaddict

[shagmeraw]

At my age, just waking up in the morning is an accomplishment. Hope you have a speedy recovery StimAddict. Welcome Back.... Happy Stimming and Holidays to everyone

[skysearcher]

Wow!! i hope you feel better soon. Good to know you are still alive and kicking!

[mrbutt89]

SA, what you went through sounds horrific, in every single aspect. I have an aunt who had an equally touch-and-go battle with sepsis a few years back, and it certainly does cause people to rethink their priorities in life. Not just the patient, but those who care about them too. (Yes, notice I said "care about", because "care for" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing, as you discovered.)
I'm just thankful you've emerged from the ordeal with a healthy dose of fighting spirit, and hope that the lasting legacy will be enhanced enjoyment of life and a greater sense of what really matters.